


Precious

by anastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Demon Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Loathing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-19
Updated: 2014-06-19
Packaged: 2018-02-05 09:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1814119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anastiel/pseuds/anastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas reminds Dean that he isn't a worthless shell of a man, but something beautiful. A coda for the Season 9 finale of Supernatural.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Precious

Dean’s reflection haunts him. When he stares at himself in the mirror, his black eyes flash at him menacingly and his mouth contorts into a hideous scowl. It’s as if he’s mocking himself and what he’s turning into, a monster. 

He’s still Dean. He's still the Righteous Man driven to do good and save the world, but there’s a darkness soaring throughout his veins that is slowly taking over his soul and he’s not sure his humanity can overpower it. 

He can’t stand looking at himself in the mirror. Not that he could before, but he sure as hell can’t now. If Dean catches a glimpse of himself a rush of anger and loathing bursts out, striking anything in its path. It’s been five hours since he woke up as a demon and three of the bunker’s mirrors are broken already. Dean has a bloodied fist and glass pieces embedded in his skin, but it doesn’t hurt. He doesn’t feel pain anymore. 

There was once a time he wished he could feel nothing, how wrong he was to wish for such an awful, empty existence. 

Once the initial shock wears off of Dean actually being  _alive,_ Sam tries to help him in the best way he can. He tells Dean that he loves him and that it’s okay, that they’ll find a way to fix this. 

"Don’t bother," Dean says brushing Sam’s concern off with a hardened look. There’s more important things to worry about than his now demonic state. 

Cas arrives at the bunker a few hours later. He sees Dean and stares at him like a deer caught in headlights. Tears pool in Cas’s eyes and before Dean knows it, the angel’s arms are wrapped around him, squeezing him tightly. Dean flinches when Cas touches him, biting the inside of his cheek to stop himself from physically pushing Cas away and telling him to leave. Dean’s an abomination now, Cas shouldn’t even look upon his face.

Cas notices Dean’s hand, bandaged now, blood-soaking through the cloth and presses gentle fingers against the wounds; healing them before Dean can tell him no. He’s using what little grace he has left to heal a demon. What a waste. Dean yanks his hand away and stalks to the other side of the room.

"Dean," Cas says softly. Cas is looking at him like he’s still the most precious thing in the world and Dean doesn’t understand. 

"Go home Cas," Dean bites out with a snarl, turning his back to the angel, too ashamed to look at him.

"I am home," Cas states plainly, walking towards Dean.

Dean clenches his hand into a fist. No.

"Heaven’s your home, Cas. Home ain’t a place with demons," Dean spits out.

A hand touches his shoulder and Dean cringes away, the muscles in his shoulder tightening, but Cas grips him tight.

"Dean Winchester, do you really think I would see you and hate what you’ve become?" 

Dean huffs out a laugh, “Uh, yeah. I’m a demon you’re an angel. I think you can do the math.”

"Dean, you are not an abomination."

"I am." 

"You are beautiful."

"No."

"You are a good man."

"No!"

Cas pulls Dean around to face him. Dean’s eyes are trained on the ground, not daring to look into the shining grace that stands only a dozen inches from him. 

"You  _are_ a good man and you  _are_ beautiful. I once held your soul in my hands and it shone brighter than any star in the whole of creation. You have a heart full of love for your family and the world. Do  _not_  demean your worth.”

Dean raises his ebony eyes to Cas’s and stares at him in astonishment. 

"I have died for you and I would do so again in a heartbeat if it meant saving you. You are precious, Dean Winchester, so very precious and I love you with every fiber of my being."

Dean kisses him then, because he doesn’t know what to say. 


End file.
